I am going to write this sad story using false identities. One of my best friend’s who I am going to call Karen had a son age four who I am going to name Neal was sexual abuse by his babysitter who I am going to call June. Karen was a single parent who worked two jobs to pay the bills also to keep food on the table. Karen is one of the hardest working mothers I know. She had to get a babysitter to watch Neal on the weekends. Karen knew she could trust her cousin June who was a seventeen at the time.
June had watched Neal for about a month before Neal had a conversation with another friend who I am going to name Bill. The conversation came about one weekday afternoon while looking at an afternoon movie they were looking at together. The movie was about a little girl that was being abuse when out of the blue Neal said “June does that to me.” Bill was surprise to hear him say that so he asked him what did you said when Neal responds “June does that to me.” Bill asked him again what you are saying. Neal replies” June does that to me.” Bill asked him have you told your mother what June is doing to you and Neal said “no June told me not to tell mommy she said it was a secret from mommy. She did not say it was a secret from you. I do not like it but June like it a lot. Sometimes I tell her to stop and she does and sometimes she doesn’t. Can you tell her I do not like it so she can stop? “
Bill was stunned and was lost for words. He told Neal he would take care of it and not to worry about it. Bill called Karen right away; Karen left work and went right to her cousin’s house and asked her what is she doing to Neal and June deny the whole thing. June’s mother became upset with Karen and that she would not believe such a thing. Karen said that “I have not talked to Neal yet but I will get to the bottom of this.” Karen’s aunt said how do you know about this? She said that Neal told Bill what happen.
When Karen got home she sat down with Neal and asked him if he was afraid of June and Neal told her no. Neal went on to say that she lets me play with my toys and she let’s me eat anything I want. Karen then asks Neal if he and June were keeping secrets from her. Neal said yes, Karen was dazed for a moment hoping it was not true. She then let him know that it was ok to tell the secret also reassuring him that he would not be in trouble. Neal then told his mother what was happing every time June would babysit. Karen sat there listening with tears in her eyes while Neal told in detail what happen to him. She knew by the details that Neal was not making it up. Karen hugged Neal and told him that June would not be babysitting him any longer. Karen called me to talk with Neal to get my opinion. I took Neal to the park and I let him play we sat and talked. I let him know I knew the secret. He said it is not a secret any longer because his mother knows now; he had such a big smile on his face when he said that. I asked him why is he smiling and he said June will not do those things to him any longer. I ask him what things and he told me. I was shocked in the detail I knew a four year old would not know these things unless he had experience them. I let Karen know then that Neal needed to see a doctor as soon as possible. We took him together. The doctor agreed with me that Neal had been sexually abuse. He would need some counseling also Karen needed counseling because she was so angry and she felt so guilty.
Karen then went to talk to her aunt and told her the whole story her aunt still did not believe Neal and became very angry, she then let Karen know she and Neal is not welcome in her home. Karen then let her know she was going to press chargers. She also let her aunt know that June needed help and she was going to make sure she got it so she will not hurt any other children.
They went to court and June was changed with sexual assault she got sometime in jail and she also had to go through intents counseling for many years. Soon Karen aunt ask forgiveness and they became family again. This took several months but they are doing well now.
Neal does not seem to have any problems he is now 25 years old married and has a little girl. I do notice that he will not allow anyone to babysit her except his mom, mother-in-law and me. He gives strict directions and he calls many times until he or his wife returns. He said no daycare for his daughter and he may home school her also. I think this event has made him an overprotected parent. My son said the same thing and this did not happen to him so I am not sure if it was Neal abuse or just an overprotected parent. Both Neal, my son and daughter said they are not putting their children in daycare unless I am running it so I guess I better get my school on the road.
Because Neal had such a good support form his mother and friends he is doing well. There are many children who are going through the same thing Neal went through and worse. We need to find ways to protect our children. I have join groups off and on throughout the years when my life allow it. I know I should do more and after writing this it has put the burn in me to do it.
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