I feel my lack of communicating with my own culture is a problem. The change in our children over the years has got to revolutionize and I do believe it has a lot to do with the lack of communicating.
I do not have problems communicating with people from different groups and cultures, however I do not understand some cultures and I know I have to work on it. I do feel the dominate culture believe in changing things the way they feel things should be and we all have to follow suit or reap the consequences. The Black community had great communication when I was a little girl. When I was a little girl we all got spanked when we were not doing something that we were suppose to be doing. We all learn from our parents and we knew how much they loved us. Parents did not have the problems we have today because we stopped communicating with each other. We had rules and our parents were not afraid to disciple their children there was a nonviable conversation between parents in your neighborhood that if another parent saw you doing something you had no business doing you were spanked and sent home to get another one from your parents. Parents were not afraid of being arrested for disciplining their children. We did not have children using foul language and fighting each other and their teachers. Communication stopped between parents and their children and there has been a change of who is in charged. Today the children are in charged and parents do what they communicate to them. I do believe that because of lack of communication we are losing our children. When we had communication with the whole community we did not have aggressive children and parents were not abusing their children. I believe the lack of proper communication between children and parent and the community is part of the problem. I believe we let another culture influence the way we raised our children and now we do not communicate with our neighbors much less the disciple another person child. I believe that we have to make a change I am not sure how this is going to happen but starting with communicating with our neighbors will be a good start.
Hi Alice,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog. You have a good point. I understand the part about discipline. Parents are to scared or not responsible for their childrn's actions. We basically have lost respect as a nation and as families.
Alice,
ReplyDeleteI admire your post and really telling it for what it appears to be these days. I feel that the change of who is in charge has changed a lot since parents have had the fear of simply spanking a child brought upon them. Also, it can be noted that trying to communicate with children and validate their feelings changes drastically when family begins to sit in the back seat and bills, work, and employers take the front seat. There is no "time" for family meetings or even what is going on in school. If we could get back to the importance of family instead of working to live in a house, I think we could all smile again. When that will happen or if it even can at this point is debatable, disagreeable, and definitley looked down on.
Tina
I agree that the communication system with parents and neighbors are completely different from when we grew up. All of what you said is so true. Sometimes the dominant culture of society can have a negtive impact on society in many different ways and by allowing children to have somewhat "control" in how we communicate disciplinary action in the household can be damaging; however, I understand that it was meant in a way of communicating to parents and adult caregivers that child abuse is not tolerated. I know you understand as I do that we do not tolerate child abuse, but a parent should be able to discipline their child without outside communicated fear of possible jail time.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, Alice. Do you think there was enough communication between children and adults during those corporal punishment days? I agree there was respect but was there also fear. When I first entered the classroom there were times when I had to physically remove myself before striking a child - almost reflexively. Seems to me if a little more reasonable and calmer from of punishment had been used it could have been more valuable. I do agree that parents may be giving up their role to discipline and guide their children. However, I wonder if for the number of times physical discipline has ended in abuse perhaps we can support a little less agressive means. I think too it would be probably impossible to go back because we have empowered children. My good friend 'smacked' her 5-year-old daughter on the bottom to help her gain emotional control a while back. She does not believe in this but did not know what else to do. Her daughter told her teacher the next day that her mother had hit her. My friend is also our principal and we all know her feelings about 'hitting' a child. He investigated the circumstances with her and she admitted perhaps it was not so bad and had been for good reason. However her Mom took quite a bit of fun feedback. My point is that thankfully, parents cannot get away with abuse as easily now. Hope this makes sense. Bobbie
ReplyDeleteAs I was reviewing Table 4.1, "Summary of Generational Characteristics" for the "Millennials" characterisitics in our reading titled,"Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others", I was thinking that maybe our gentler discipline approach was creating a non-rebel generation. Being a baby boomer and growing up with physical discipline, albeit I learned quickly to avoid the physical discipline, I still grew up to be a rebel; thankfully age has ripened me to use this rebel energy in advocating for children and families. Anyway, the characteristics of the "Millennials" is they are "close to their parents"; "they feel special"; "are goal and team oriented"; and focus on achievement. Your post now has me re-thinking my initial thought process.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your insight.